I think that people that are alone choose to be. I use to think that I was alone because guys were idiots but I realized it's because I want to be. I think that in order to clear my head and get myself right I had to put the thought of a relationship on the back burner.
I also think that my idea of not a perfect relationship, but a happy relationship period, is to be equally understanding of who we are. If one loves go out every once and a while, but the other desires to stay in, that's a small tear in the fabric. Sometimes little things are what create a large rip in the spave between two people.
I love films. Movies is who, and basically what I am, and I dated a guy that did not care to go. That hurt me a bit because I wanted to share that part of me with him, but I didn't push, I let him do his own thing. But it was that small thing that started my head to tinker about and see other tings that I loved that he didn't and vice versa. I liked to talk about things where as he prefered the silent-you-should-know-what-I'm-thinking- approach. I hated trying to understand what he felt or trying to read between the lines at his bullshit philosophical babble. I ended up calling him "Yoda" because he figured he had all the answers to everyone elses problems except the ones that were slowly building between he and I.
The thing was he tried to keep me and then still do what he wanted, which was almost always none of what I liked to do. I then realized that the reasons we were together weren't going to go any further than they already had.
So for the goodness of my sanity and my books that I'm writing I am voluntarily deciding to be alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment