You thought that money would keep me with you, but you had no idea. You didn't think about what I needed from you. You only thought about what you wanted from me.
To allow someone within your heart and take up residence there it's like moving into a new home. There are things to be discovered and new aspects to look forward to. The walls were bare and blank. They were waiting to be painted reds and browns and blues. Colors that represent the love and respect that we are to share together. Every piece of furniture that is placed within those walls are part of who we are. The bed?Our dedication to one another. Our sofa? The laughter we are to share with family and friends. And the dining room? The place we are to watch our family flourish.
It was easy for you to tear down what we made because you never cared. You never thought about what would happen if you smiled at her or if she touched your hand. You never planned on meeting her and one-by-one, brick-by-brick destroying our home. Destroying our love. Destroying OUR heart.
You thought that money would keep me with you, but you had no idea. You didn't think about what I needed from you. You only thought about what you wanted from me.
You wanted someone you could come home to every night to and leave your discretions outside the front door. You thought that the stench of her perfume and the sweat from what you did with her would not taint our bed. You never thought that I would know. You figured that materialistic things would keep me oblivious to your adultery and dishonesty. But it didn't.
You see, while you were thinking about how to keep me from knowing I knew it all. I knew that one day you'd see that I loved you. That on that day I cared for you. That even without the home we built and you tried to tear down, that I would be there for you. The vow I took was simple yet hard at the same time.
I vowed to love you. To honor you. To cherish you. Till death do us part. And I will.
Forgiveness is a hard thing to achieve. But to forget? That is impossible.
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
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