Your Acceptance

What happens when you love? I mean what really happens when you feel this emotion strongly in your heart? How do you cope with the end result? I’ve witnessed love that can toss you on your ass but you get up again. Although there are some that you cannot bounce back from as easily. Pain is part of life. You don’t appreciate the good without knowing part of the bad. Sometimes what you do that is bad may require forgiveness and you must accept if they can or can’t. Won’t or don’t. But what makes your heart free from pain is that you did what you were supposed to do. You stood up and held your ground. You did your part. It’s up to them to find it in their heart to forgive you.


I’ve always wanted a love that was so intense that I would forever be elated and filled with happiness but I realized that you cannot always receive what you want. And what you want does not always make you happy. One’s happiness can be totally different from another’s. Where one is head-over-heels the other is just infatuated. At one time I could see the beauty in wanting someone. To feel them in my hands and hear their voice in my ear. But then I got it. I got the fact that whatever is for me it will be. I can’t push because if I do I will end up with nothing. I will in fact be more alone than I thought I was already.

But you know, I do love with an intense passion. I can’t help it. I want him to know all that I am is because of him. That all I want to have, I want to share with him. I want to sense his unhappiness when I’m not even around. I want to feel his heartbeat within mine. To hold his scent from his t-shirt that I wear to bed if he’s not home. That way even when I can’t feel him around me I can have him around me. For him to say how much he loves me in the midst of his friends and family, that makes a woman like me feel that final acceptance.

To have passion in anything shows your dedication to it. I have a passion for my words. I don’t feel right if I can’t use them to express how I feel. Them, like him, makes me whole. He understands what they mean to me. He adores how I can say things and they mean so much. That’s why I do it. I could do other things to get his attention but I choose to talk to him. To give him me through letters, words, sentences, paragraphs, and pages. I want him to understand who I am. Who I am to him. Who I am for him. You can’t think a man will be your protector unless you are his also. You can’t expect him to hold your heart and not break it if you can’t hold his and end up shattering it. As women we want so much but we give so little. We talk about finding a real man but what about them finding a real woman? We real women are scarce and are hardly ever found. Men try to find their perfect love in places they should not look and when it goes south they wonder why it went crossed-eyed.

I can’t hunt for a man. I’m a predator but not in that way. I seek out what is mine to begin with. How will I know he’s mine? He will tell me. He will hold me in his arms and tell me that I am who he’s waited for. That I am the one that he breathes for. That his heart beats because I brought it to life. But men are not as verbal so you have to read what they do and how they do it. What they do should talk to you loud and clear. You just have to listen. And vice versa. He will give you all of him if he feels that you have done the same towards him.


Nikki Frierson