I love how I feel when I think of him.
That there's no one else in this world that can make me smile the way he can
My laugh is different because of him
How I feel about what I want has changed to include him
No, I'm not being silly nor am I being naive
I am voicing how I feel and who has made me finally feel this way
It's not wrong to express how you feel and how will they know if you don't
Texts from him tell me how he's feeling
He's sad
He's angry
He's happy from a text that I sent
I can smile when my phone rings and his voice is on the other end
I can smile after I end a call because I'm content after talking to him
So, I can smile when I think of him
I can laugh all by myself thinking of something funny he said
Or I can curl up with my blanket, close my eyes and think of the last time he held me
It's not an obsession
Those that have never been happy would say that's what it is
I pity them
I pity them for not knowing how it feels to have a friend
To not have someone that knows you're down by how you word your text message
Or by the tone of your voice
They'll never know how it feels to care for someone
To worry when they worry
To help them work through hard times as well as laugh through the good
Many will never know
They will never know how it feels to have emotions that will build you instead of break you
But I will
I will know
And even if it doesn't last forever I will have known it
I will have felt it with the sensitivity in my touch
The heat that keeps me warm
A continuous 99.5 because he sparked something within me that pushed MY body temp a bit higher than the norm
Seen it with my two big brown eyes because they never miss a thing
Heard it in my heart because it beats to the same rhythm as his own
So, I thank you but honestly, for me to feel how I feel about him...
...YOUR APPROVAL IS NOT REQUIRED
Nikki Frierson, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
QUICK IDEA MOMENT!
When you were young you dreamed of being a superhero and doing things you see on tv.
When you got older you realize that you are not superhuman, and in order to get on tv you must do something tv-worthy
When you were little you wanted to be big and strong
When you got older your bigger but still feel small and weak
When you were young you wished to have a big house and live in the big city, doing grown-up things
When you got older you realized that in order to have that big house, live in that big city, and do those grown up things you have to have money
Meaning you have to have a good paying job
When you were little you saw yourself marrying someone you love
You saw yourself marrying that girl that gave you half of her sandwich in kindergarden and then let you swap out your apple juice for her grape
When you got older you married the one that swapped her heart out for yours
Nikki Frierson, 2010
When you got older you realize that you are not superhuman, and in order to get on tv you must do something tv-worthy
When you were little you wanted to be big and strong
When you got older your bigger but still feel small and weak
When you were young you wished to have a big house and live in the big city, doing grown-up things
When you got older you realized that in order to have that big house, live in that big city, and do those grown up things you have to have money
Meaning you have to have a good paying job
When you were little you saw yourself marrying someone you love
You saw yourself marrying that girl that gave you half of her sandwich in kindergarden and then let you swap out your apple juice for her grape
When you got older you married the one that swapped her heart out for yours
Nikki Frierson, 2010
Book Progress!
Well, I have had a breakthrough in my story! I have finally learned what the outcome of the first book is. Unfortunately, I can't say! But there is a new post from Karah on her blog! Check out her link and let me know what you think!
http://karahavayah.blogspot.com/
http://karahavayah.blogspot.com/
Friday, September 24, 2010
TO MY OTHER HALF
It’s not up to me to show you that I’m perfect.
You should already know that I am perfect for you
It’s not up to me to tell you you love me
You should say it without hesitation
It’s not up to me to make you see how beautiful I am
You should know the beauty within as well as out
It’s not my place to make you hold me
Your arms around me should be second nature
It’s up to me to show you that you’re perfect for me
But you should already know that you are
It’s up to me to tell you how much I love you
And you should love hearing it
It’s up to me to show you how handsome you are
And the light in your smile confirms it
It’s my place to hold you every chance I get
My warmth should be with you even when I’m not
There are things that we should know but don’t
It’s time to open our eyes and ears and learn these things from one another
This is how we grow
This is how we stop the hatred towards each other
This is how we love
Nikki Frierson, 2010
You should already know that I am perfect for you
It’s not up to me to tell you you love me
You should say it without hesitation
It’s not up to me to make you see how beautiful I am
You should know the beauty within as well as out
It’s not my place to make you hold me
Your arms around me should be second nature
It’s up to me to show you that you’re perfect for me
But you should already know that you are
It’s up to me to tell you how much I love you
And you should love hearing it
It’s up to me to show you how handsome you are
And the light in your smile confirms it
It’s my place to hold you every chance I get
My warmth should be with you even when I’m not
There are things that we should know but don’t
It’s time to open our eyes and ears and learn these things from one another
This is how we grow
This is how we stop the hatred towards each other
This is how we love
Nikki Frierson, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
WHAT IS MY PASSION?
I’ve been thinking for the past few weeks about exactly what I want out of life. It’s funny, I love movies, I always wanted to work in film but the closest I’ve gotten to that line of work is a news station. Don’t get me wrong I like my job. I like the fact that I have gained a lot more experience since working there, but I found a great passion. Greater than directing film.
WRITING!
I love to write. I love using my very extremely vivid imagination, creating a story from nothing. With my words I create characters and places and love interests. I make emotions and even place a few of my feelings within them. Okay, so I place a lot of my feelings within them, but I can because that’s what writers do. I want my readers to feel what the characters feel. To cry when they do. To even feel that pain in their throat that the characters feel as they lose that one they love, or realize they can never turn back time.
I have discovered that my passion for films and television boosted how I write. I am a visual person, so I love when I can see what I am reading. When I can picture myself in the scene of a book. When I can capture a moment in words and literally feel the emotion searing from the page I know that this book was a great read.
I started writing in college. It began with assignments and it then branched out to poetry and short stories just for fun. I was still focused on movies though. The thing is if it were not for the scriptwriters for those shows and films that I would not feel the need to cry, be mad or laugh. The scriptwriter holds the power to make or break a show. Just like a writer holds the power to make or break a book.
Currently, I have unfinished stories that took over my mind and I am now determined to finish them. I’m making sure that I sit down and dedicate my unused time to proofing and finding a way to get my stories out to those that enjoy reading. I am more of a fiction writer. I love to create unknown beings and generate my own definitions of what they are and how they came to be. This is so I can twist and bend them to whichever direction I want them to go.
This very blog started off as a joke. I was going to critique movies that I saw and books that I read and even throw in a few personal thoughts along the way, but as you can see it’s turned into more! It is now more than I ever thought it would be. I even have blogs for my characters along the right side of the page!
Karah and some of the others have their own blogs. They even have a blog that allows them all to interact. YES! They are all me, but they are characters with their own thoughts and ways of speaking.
So, in closing, I know that it takes a lot of courage to write something and put it out into the world for others to read and either love or hate, but that is what we’re here for. We cater to those minds that love to read and experience new worlds and the thought that we as humans are not alone. That there are supernatural beings and those of other worlds. I just had the need to voice what I think and how I came to be where I am now. I hope that you all continue to read my entries and comment sometimes. And who knows perhaps one day I’ll actually post that my book is going to be published and that my imagination has paid off!
~Nikki Frierson, 2010
WRITING!
I love to write. I love using my very extremely vivid imagination, creating a story from nothing. With my words I create characters and places and love interests. I make emotions and even place a few of my feelings within them. Okay, so I place a lot of my feelings within them, but I can because that’s what writers do. I want my readers to feel what the characters feel. To cry when they do. To even feel that pain in their throat that the characters feel as they lose that one they love, or realize they can never turn back time.
I have discovered that my passion for films and television boosted how I write. I am a visual person, so I love when I can see what I am reading. When I can picture myself in the scene of a book. When I can capture a moment in words and literally feel the emotion searing from the page I know that this book was a great read.
I started writing in college. It began with assignments and it then branched out to poetry and short stories just for fun. I was still focused on movies though. The thing is if it were not for the scriptwriters for those shows and films that I would not feel the need to cry, be mad or laugh. The scriptwriter holds the power to make or break a show. Just like a writer holds the power to make or break a book.
Currently, I have unfinished stories that took over my mind and I am now determined to finish them. I’m making sure that I sit down and dedicate my unused time to proofing and finding a way to get my stories out to those that enjoy reading. I am more of a fiction writer. I love to create unknown beings and generate my own definitions of what they are and how they came to be. This is so I can twist and bend them to whichever direction I want them to go.
This very blog started off as a joke. I was going to critique movies that I saw and books that I read and even throw in a few personal thoughts along the way, but as you can see it’s turned into more! It is now more than I ever thought it would be. I even have blogs for my characters along the right side of the page!
Karah and some of the others have their own blogs. They even have a blog that allows them all to interact. YES! They are all me, but they are characters with their own thoughts and ways of speaking.
So, in closing, I know that it takes a lot of courage to write something and put it out into the world for others to read and either love or hate, but that is what we’re here for. We cater to those minds that love to read and experience new worlds and the thought that we as humans are not alone. That there are supernatural beings and those of other worlds. I just had the need to voice what I think and how I came to be where I am now. I hope that you all continue to read my entries and comment sometimes. And who knows perhaps one day I’ll actually post that my book is going to be published and that my imagination has paid off!
~Nikki Frierson, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Thought of the Day: How Far Would You Go for Love?
How far would you go for love? I don’t know if my distance is unlimited. I think there is a limit for everyone. I was thinking about how people say they’d die for their partner but would they really? Would they really go as far as to die for the other person? Now, I know love is strong, and I also know that I love unconditionally, but as for me giving up my very own life? Uhhhh, yeah, no, I don’t think I would.
I know how to love unconditionally. I know how to accept the things in others that I cannot change. But there are those that think they can change a person for themselves. I realized, by way of thinking about my relationships, that out of all of them I only truly loved twice! Only two times out of my 30 years of living I have loved. Which is a bit crazy when you look at it. How many times have you loved? How many of the relationships that you held were true love? Or were they just true lust? I’ve had a few of those too! LMAO Too many I’d care to admit when I think about it.
I’m rambling I know but between a bit of this rambling I can see the point! Lol…
Love for you, not someone else. Love them even when they don’t love themselves. I’ve done it and I must say that they rewards are sweet, beautiful and most exciting.
Nikki Frierson, 2010
I know how to love unconditionally. I know how to accept the things in others that I cannot change. But there are those that think they can change a person for themselves. I realized, by way of thinking about my relationships, that out of all of them I only truly loved twice! Only two times out of my 30 years of living I have loved. Which is a bit crazy when you look at it. How many times have you loved? How many of the relationships that you held were true love? Or were they just true lust? I’ve had a few of those too! LMAO Too many I’d care to admit when I think about it.
I’m rambling I know but between a bit of this rambling I can see the point! Lol…
Love for you, not someone else. Love them even when they don’t love themselves. I’ve done it and I must say that they rewards are sweet, beautiful and most exciting.
Nikki Frierson, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
WHAT IT MEANS TO TAKE POSSESSION
I am not vulnerable but I love to submit
I love how you take control of me
You ask me if I like it
You demand that I answer you
You make sure that you hear my answers
How you hold me tells me you want me
Twisting and bending me in ways that I want
You move and move till you hear that sound you like
Till you see that expression that tells you you’re in the right spot
Goddamn that voice
You use that voice because you know I love it
It vibrates within your chest tickling my senses
You know that with your tone I’d do anything you ask
That with those hands on me I’ll get into any position you want
Your body knows that mine will move with it
Move against it
Whether it’s in the bed, on the couch, on the counter or in the car
The man inside you knows the woman within me
You know what I want
You know that any other time I’ll give you shit
But you also know that when it’s time I’ll give you something else
You love it don’t you
You love that thing I do
I like how you shudder when I do as you ask
How you can barely use that voice of yours to make demands
But you still make them don’t you
You still have control of me
And I’ll gladly submit
Each and every time
Nikki Frierson, 2010
I love how you take control of me
You ask me if I like it
You demand that I answer you
You make sure that you hear my answers
How you hold me tells me you want me
Twisting and bending me in ways that I want
You move and move till you hear that sound you like
Till you see that expression that tells you you’re in the right spot
Goddamn that voice
You use that voice because you know I love it
It vibrates within your chest tickling my senses
You know that with your tone I’d do anything you ask
That with those hands on me I’ll get into any position you want
Your body knows that mine will move with it
Move against it
Whether it’s in the bed, on the couch, on the counter or in the car
The man inside you knows the woman within me
You know what I want
You know that any other time I’ll give you shit
But you also know that when it’s time I’ll give you something else
You love it don’t you
You love that thing I do
I like how you shudder when I do as you ask
How you can barely use that voice of yours to make demands
But you still make them don’t you
You still have control of me
And I’ll gladly submit
Each and every time
Nikki Frierson, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
MIND GAMES
My imagination tends to run away with me sometimes
So if I picture me being happy, ignore it
Or if I'm smiling because I'm daydreaming of me having zero drama, cast that aside
If I'm talking about a future that you know will never happen, speak up
Cause it's just my imagination, running a away with me
If I tell you one day that you're the love of my life, scoff and go back what you were doing
When we're together I hold your hand and you shrug it off, don't think anything of it
If there is a moment where I want to kiss you in public, turn the other cheek
Cause it's my imagination running around me in circles
Now if you see yourself being happy, ignore it
Or when you catch yourself smiling during your in depth daydream, please cast that aside
And if you begin to talk about the future and instead I talk over you, don't worry about it
Cause It was your imagination to think that when you want these things that I'd freely give them to you
So don't be mad if you tell me that I am the love of your life and I scoff at the idea returning to what I was doing
Or when we're together you take my hand and I intentionally pull away don't allow your heart to hurt
Dont even feel the least bit torn when you reach out to kiss me and I turn away
Don't think anything of it
Cause it was your imagination to think that I would wait until you were ready
It was in your mind that I'd wait till after you got all your needs out and be here when you decided you wanted to be
So sorry
So sad you thought that way
Sometimes our imagination screws us over by the types of games that we play
Now imagine that
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
So if I picture me being happy, ignore it
Or if I'm smiling because I'm daydreaming of me having zero drama, cast that aside
If I'm talking about a future that you know will never happen, speak up
Cause it's just my imagination, running a away with me
If I tell you one day that you're the love of my life, scoff and go back what you were doing
When we're together I hold your hand and you shrug it off, don't think anything of it
If there is a moment where I want to kiss you in public, turn the other cheek
Cause it's my imagination running around me in circles
Now if you see yourself being happy, ignore it
Or when you catch yourself smiling during your in depth daydream, please cast that aside
And if you begin to talk about the future and instead I talk over you, don't worry about it
Cause It was your imagination to think that when you want these things that I'd freely give them to you
So don't be mad if you tell me that I am the love of your life and I scoff at the idea returning to what I was doing
Or when we're together you take my hand and I intentionally pull away don't allow your heart to hurt
Dont even feel the least bit torn when you reach out to kiss me and I turn away
Don't think anything of it
Cause it was your imagination to think that I would wait until you were ready
It was in your mind that I'd wait till after you got all your needs out and be here when you decided you wanted to be
So sorry
So sad you thought that way
Sometimes our imagination screws us over by the types of games that we play
Now imagine that
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
A LOST LETTER
Dear ....
I believed in you for oh so long. I wanted to have what you showed me in the world. I thought that one day I could have what others had. That I could hold onto that special part of someone and never let go. But you neglected to show me that no matter how hard I held on that they could let go. And take with them that loving part of me. And with that part of who I was. You could have shown me that my heart can't be that strong. Cause now I'm hurting and I've held on to that hurt for so long that I can't let go. That even in the midst of being happy I still hold on to that hurt expecting the worse. I know that as long as I do that this will be my downfall.
Sincerely,
A Shattered Heart
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
I believed in you for oh so long. I wanted to have what you showed me in the world. I thought that one day I could have what others had. That I could hold onto that special part of someone and never let go. But you neglected to show me that no matter how hard I held on that they could let go. And take with them that loving part of me. And with that part of who I was. You could have shown me that my heart can't be that strong. Cause now I'm hurting and I've held on to that hurt for so long that I can't let go. That even in the midst of being happy I still hold on to that hurt expecting the worse. I know that as long as I do that this will be my downfall.
Sincerely,
A Shattered Heart
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
GOD'S CREATION
You didn't know
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
I was made for you
Created by God to stand with you
I was shaped from your rib
Molded by him to be who you need
That's how much I am a part of you
You had to have been very worthy to receive me
Because I am truly blessed to have received you
Yes we have our ups and downs
But without patience and understanding
We would not be able to look pass the negative and see within the positive
I was made for you
I thought for sure you knew
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
She Helped ME to Find YOU
You somehow made her laugh
You are part of conversations and I don't feel hesitant about it
She can sense my true happiness when we talk
There have been no warnings about you
She seems to like you as much as I do
But I'm older now and she trusts my judgment of you
I talk to her about things I never tried to talk about in the past
When it comes to advice about relationships she is my guide
And even when the subject is you she is more acceptable that you mean so much to me
I even hear the change in her voice when we talk on conference calls with you
She's never talked much to any guy I've dated
She's never really liked any of the guys I brought home or didn't
But she hears the realness in your tone
The underlying comfort in your voice
It says something about me, her and you
It says I've grown and from her teaching me I can spot unhealthy relationships before they become a problem
It says that she's comfortable with how she's raised me as a woman and she trusts my choice of you
It even says that she trusts you with her daughter
That you have done something that no other guy has done
And that's respected her by respecting her daughter
You've made a great shift in my life and it is because you are who you are
She's seen my smile in the pictures and has not questioned it once
She is my mom and I trust her
She is my best friend and I will never allow anyone to take that place
She is my advisor, counselor and mentor
And she is the reason I am the woman I am now
She is the reason I chose a sweet and caring man
She is the reason I chose you
*Thanks Mom*
(Crystal Frierson-Barnes)
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
SHE ALWAYS KNOWS BEST
My mom told me about you.
She told me about how sweet you'd be
How everything you say would have honey dripping from it
Your smile would get me
The way you spoke to me would have me off focus
My mom tried her best to shield me from what you'd do
She said that you were no good
But I was stubborn
Hardheaded
I thought I could prove her wrong
I felt that times had changed and perhaps the way men were also
But she told me
She said that things as common never changed
Her voice was gentle when she explained how you would treat me
How from meeting you one time she knew that I would hurt in the end
But I wouldn't listen
I had to be with you or I thought I was going to die
It wasn't my heart nor was it yours
It was just hormones and that itch that needed to be scratched.
She saw it
She knew it
It stared at her just as plain as day
You would hurt me
And after all my denial and rebellion she stood there
She comforted me and consoled my heart
Even after she proved me wrong
Even after she told me about you
*Thank Mom*
(Crystal Frierson-Barnes)
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
She told me about how sweet you'd be
How everything you say would have honey dripping from it
Your smile would get me
The way you spoke to me would have me off focus
My mom tried her best to shield me from what you'd do
She said that you were no good
But I was stubborn
Hardheaded
I thought I could prove her wrong
I felt that times had changed and perhaps the way men were also
But she told me
She said that things as common never changed
Her voice was gentle when she explained how you would treat me
How from meeting you one time she knew that I would hurt in the end
But I wouldn't listen
I had to be with you or I thought I was going to die
It wasn't my heart nor was it yours
It was just hormones and that itch that needed to be scratched.
She saw it
She knew it
It stared at her just as plain as day
You would hurt me
And after all my denial and rebellion she stood there
She comforted me and consoled my heart
Even after she proved me wrong
Even after she told me about you
*Thank Mom*
(Crystal Frierson-Barnes)
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
WHAT WOMEN WANT! (MY FREAKIN VERSION)
1. To not wait. We as women know sometimes that you can’t always read our minds when it comes to sex, but you should know that when you make the first move it lets us know that we are wanted. That we are desired in such an intimate way. A guy can never go wrong when he seduces his woman. We want to be seduced and shown that we are sexy and when a you start foreplay it tells us that we are attractive. So men don’t think that women are all for equality and all that liberation crap! Sometimes they want you to make the first move.
2. If you’re going there make sure you know what you’re doing. Now, oral sex is very very very pleasurable but if you’re down there and she’s doing more backing away rather than pulling you into her, then you’re not doing it right. Word of advice, that little bud that sometimes swells after being stimulated is the clit or clitoris, not a button on an X-Box controller. You can’t just press it and think she’ll get an automatic orgasm. It does not work that way. Or when you’re sucking on it like you’re going rabid, that is not really helping your cause either. It should be stroked gently by your tongue and lightly sucked on. Not like you’re a damn Dyson vacuum. Also there is more than the clit that gets her off. You must also realize that there is an opening down there that has nerve endings that have been heightened dramatically during this foreplay. Women don’t really care to tell you what to do because if you’re down there you should know already BUT and I cannot stress this enough, BUT if you are not doing it right they we will let you know. Also, don’t put all your focus on that. As you’re pleasing her, allow your hands to touch her. This lets her know that it’s not all about you devouring her goods, but about how she feels while you’re pleasuring her. How you love the softness of her thighs and her hips. Even reaching and caressing her breast will show her that you are focusing on her as a woman. And you may get a pleasure in return. Women love to please just as much as they’ve been pleasured. When done right.
4. Be aggressive. B-E aggressive. Not that I really have to explain this one but I think I will anyway. (It is my favorite. SMHL) Now, showing how much of a lover you are is sweet. Soft touches is good. Gentle tugs of our hair. But there are those times where we want our hair pulled. Our asses slapped not smacked. We like to take charge (I do), BUT we LOVE it when a man takes over. When you flip us, twist us, and bend us into positions we’ve never been in we become more turned on. We love it. There maybe those few women that don’t like it. GET A NEW GIRL! (just kidding) But honestly, women love it when a man tried new things and is aggressive when doing it. Just not too rough. Don’t almost kill the woman. Again unless she is into that. (Not me.) And as much as they deny it women love for a man to put his all into his moves. To make sure she feels it. Yeah, let me get off this subject ASAP. SMHL.
4. Be vocal. No matter what you think women want to hear you. Not just you moaning and groaning to every stroke, but saying actual words. “Fuck me!” “Harder!” “Faster!” “More!” “Don’t stop!” “Oh shit!” “Suck it!” “Damn you feel good.” These are the base demands and comments when it comes to being verbal in bed, or car, or couch, or where ever you two decide to get it on. Once you are comfortable with those simple ones and you get a feel of her answers then you can add to your dictionary. It’s a fact that women are vocal no matter what. Our moans and demands heightened your want to give us just what we request. Thanks for catching on so quickly. So open your mouth and talk to us. We do like it.
5. Returning the favor. Don’t really care what your woman says, nine times out of ten she’s performed oral sex on a man before! And if she’s doing it right she has orgasm from pleasuring you. I’m just keeping it 100. But that does not mean that she won’t take instruction from you either. She wants to know what you like. The mission (and there are those that accept it), is to get you to orgasm or on the brink of one. Not all women swallow so don’t get mad if she moves just before ending with a hand job for the finish. She’s not ready for that yet. (Not many are.) Women will try and figure you out and most of the time they already know how to make you go mad and have your eyes in the back of your head, but she’s wanting to please you so tell her what you want. (Goes back to being vocal)
6. Seeing is believing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, women masturbate so if she says she don’t she’s lying. And we know you guys are lying. It’s a part of human nature. We explore our bodies to know what we like and what we don’t like. But this is not all about you being alone when you do it. This is about allowing her to see you. Watching a man pleasure himself is a great turn on. It shows how you want to be handled. It sets off something within a woman that makes her antsy and wanting to touch. It’s temptation for her. She wants to touch you but cant she wants to pleasure you but cant. And vice versa, she will tempt you but you can’t touch her. She’ll show you if she wants her nipples pinched, plucked, or sucked. And you’ll almost die from watching her because, again, you’ll want to touch her. And cant. You’ll want to do everything she’s doing to herself but you can’t. Right down to where her hand has trailed to and what it’s doing. But you can't.
7. Afterwards. If you guys know what it was. A fling, a one-nighter, then okay. But realize before that any kind of sexual encounter has an emotional bind to it. Women have to like you to give it to you. Emotion is not always love so do always think that she’s going to fall in love. But to those that are into their partners afterglow is the best. For a man to hold his woman after it tells her that you are there with her. That you were there with her the entire time. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally. To be held afterwards seals whatever type of relationship you have. Coming down from that orgasmic high together, beside each other is the shit. (LOL) No better way to sum it up! It is the highlight of the “after”. Don’t just get up and head to the shower. It’s not nice (mean face). Stick around for a few minutes. She’s probably already bitten you (I do bite) so the biting part is over and done with. But again if the two of you are adult enough to up and leave the scene then okay.
2. If you’re going there make sure you know what you’re doing. Now, oral sex is very very very pleasurable but if you’re down there and she’s doing more backing away rather than pulling you into her, then you’re not doing it right. Word of advice, that little bud that sometimes swells after being stimulated is the clit or clitoris, not a button on an X-Box controller. You can’t just press it and think she’ll get an automatic orgasm. It does not work that way. Or when you’re sucking on it like you’re going rabid, that is not really helping your cause either. It should be stroked gently by your tongue and lightly sucked on. Not like you’re a damn Dyson vacuum. Also there is more than the clit that gets her off. You must also realize that there is an opening down there that has nerve endings that have been heightened dramatically during this foreplay. Women don’t really care to tell you what to do because if you’re down there you should know already BUT and I cannot stress this enough, BUT if you are not doing it right they we will let you know. Also, don’t put all your focus on that. As you’re pleasing her, allow your hands to touch her. This lets her know that it’s not all about you devouring her goods, but about how she feels while you’re pleasuring her. How you love the softness of her thighs and her hips. Even reaching and caressing her breast will show her that you are focusing on her as a woman. And you may get a pleasure in return. Women love to please just as much as they’ve been pleasured. When done right.
4. Be aggressive. B-E aggressive. Not that I really have to explain this one but I think I will anyway. (It is my favorite. SMHL) Now, showing how much of a lover you are is sweet. Soft touches is good. Gentle tugs of our hair. But there are those times where we want our hair pulled. Our asses slapped not smacked. We like to take charge (I do), BUT we LOVE it when a man takes over. When you flip us, twist us, and bend us into positions we’ve never been in we become more turned on. We love it. There maybe those few women that don’t like it. GET A NEW GIRL! (just kidding) But honestly, women love it when a man tried new things and is aggressive when doing it. Just not too rough. Don’t almost kill the woman. Again unless she is into that. (Not me.) And as much as they deny it women love for a man to put his all into his moves. To make sure she feels it. Yeah, let me get off this subject ASAP. SMHL.
4. Be vocal. No matter what you think women want to hear you. Not just you moaning and groaning to every stroke, but saying actual words. “Fuck me!” “Harder!” “Faster!” “More!” “Don’t stop!” “Oh shit!” “Suck it!” “Damn you feel good.” These are the base demands and comments when it comes to being verbal in bed, or car, or couch, or where ever you two decide to get it on. Once you are comfortable with those simple ones and you get a feel of her answers then you can add to your dictionary. It’s a fact that women are vocal no matter what. Our moans and demands heightened your want to give us just what we request. Thanks for catching on so quickly. So open your mouth and talk to us. We do like it.
5. Returning the favor. Don’t really care what your woman says, nine times out of ten she’s performed oral sex on a man before! And if she’s doing it right she has orgasm from pleasuring you. I’m just keeping it 100. But that does not mean that she won’t take instruction from you either. She wants to know what you like. The mission (and there are those that accept it), is to get you to orgasm or on the brink of one. Not all women swallow so don’t get mad if she moves just before ending with a hand job for the finish. She’s not ready for that yet. (Not many are.) Women will try and figure you out and most of the time they already know how to make you go mad and have your eyes in the back of your head, but she’s wanting to please you so tell her what you want. (Goes back to being vocal)
6. Seeing is believing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, women masturbate so if she says she don’t she’s lying. And we know you guys are lying. It’s a part of human nature. We explore our bodies to know what we like and what we don’t like. But this is not all about you being alone when you do it. This is about allowing her to see you. Watching a man pleasure himself is a great turn on. It shows how you want to be handled. It sets off something within a woman that makes her antsy and wanting to touch. It’s temptation for her. She wants to touch you but cant she wants to pleasure you but cant. And vice versa, she will tempt you but you can’t touch her. She’ll show you if she wants her nipples pinched, plucked, or sucked. And you’ll almost die from watching her because, again, you’ll want to touch her. And cant. You’ll want to do everything she’s doing to herself but you can’t. Right down to where her hand has trailed to and what it’s doing. But you can't.
7. Afterwards. If you guys know what it was. A fling, a one-nighter, then okay. But realize before that any kind of sexual encounter has an emotional bind to it. Women have to like you to give it to you. Emotion is not always love so do always think that she’s going to fall in love. But to those that are into their partners afterglow is the best. For a man to hold his woman after it tells her that you are there with her. That you were there with her the entire time. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally. To be held afterwards seals whatever type of relationship you have. Coming down from that orgasmic high together, beside each other is the shit. (LOL) No better way to sum it up! It is the highlight of the “after”. Don’t just get up and head to the shower. It’s not nice (mean face). Stick around for a few minutes. She’s probably already bitten you (I do bite) so the biting part is over and done with. But again if the two of you are adult enough to up and leave the scene then okay.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
HE WAS NOT OF ME
I saw them in the store
Their eyes
Their smile
The way they bit their nail contemplating their choice of whether to get Froot Loops or Cheerios
Right down to the angle of their nose when sheer joy ran over their face
Then it hit me
They look just like you
The sound of their small voice resonated the same tone
Their eyebrows furrowed over their bright chocolates just like yours
Even that quirky little stare that you give when you’re deep in thought was theirs
I noticed she noticed me looking at them
I meant no offense I was just shocked in place
She approached me and asked me my problem
I simply said “no problem. None whatsoever. Your son is so beautiful.”
With that she smiled, thanks me and went back to him
I would have walked away
I would have never gave it a second thought
That was till she said his name
The same as yours
That was your son
The young boy that had to have been at least four
My mind began to race
It began to calculate dates and times
Moments where you were gone
Days when you had ‘something’ to do
I felt my heart stop as he chuckled
He laughed your laugh
He laughed the laugh that our child was supposed to have
He had the features that I wanted our son to have
You took that from me
As they walked away I saw what you had not created with me
You decided on your own that we together were not worthy of that
That I was not worth even creating something as precious as your child
I saw him
You can’t deny that he’s not yours
There is nothing you can say that will justify why and how he was conceived and born within the time of our marriage
But I can say this
I forgive you
I forgive you for your ignorance
I forgive you for your stupidity
But I will not forget
I will not forget your cold-heartedness
I will not forget your face when I told you
That I went because I felt different
That I speculated but wanted to be sure
I will not forget how I wanted to bring you a joy I thought no one else would
But that was done wasn’t it
You had experienced that with someone else and it was not with me
So it’s over
I’m leaving
And I’m taking the fact that on that day I found out I was pregnant
That on that day I had planned to make you dinner and tell you
That all because I had forgotten something I had to go back
And because I wanted to make your heart whole on that day you make my heart break
Monday, September 6, 2010
THE SHARED WORDS OF A MOTHER AND DAUGHTER
You held me when I needed you, as I did for you
When I was unable to do for myself you were there, as I was there for you
When my words were not so clear you spoke for me, as I proudly spoke for you
You made decisions for me when I could not, and I humbly made decisions for you
As time passed I understood you more than you'd ever know
Your personality meshed with mine and we were of the same cloth
You protected me when I was in harms way, and when needed I did the same for you
We shared so much
Still we share so much
The love that only a mother can give to her daughter
And the love only a daughter can give to her mother
But today
This day
We share something that maybe small to others but to us is so much bigger
On this day, the seventh day of the ninth month we share the words
Happy Birthday my lovely daughter
Happy Birthday my beautiful mother, I will always love you
This poem is dedicated to Ms. Casandra Hardee and her mother Ms. Blondie L. Hardee, who although is not with her physcially is always with her spiritually and mentally.
There is no relationship like the one between a mother and daughter. A mother teaches her daughter to be great woman. To show no fear when faced with the problems of the world. To know how to give her weight to the Lord and let him handle it. She also gives her that little bit of attitude when needed but not too much. "Respect yourself first" is what they say to you.
A daughter takes the teachings she's learned and instills them in her children creating a never ending cycle of her legacy. Each one taking a piece of who she was, no, of who she is, and building from that foundation. A relationship this precious should never be taken lightly. Never be taken for granted.
I wish Ms. Sandy and even though I never had the pleasure, her mother, a Happy Birthday.
Nikki Frierson
When I was unable to do for myself you were there, as I was there for you
When my words were not so clear you spoke for me, as I proudly spoke for you
You made decisions for me when I could not, and I humbly made decisions for you
As time passed I understood you more than you'd ever know
Your personality meshed with mine and we were of the same cloth
You protected me when I was in harms way, and when needed I did the same for you
We shared so much
Still we share so much
The love that only a mother can give to her daughter
And the love only a daughter can give to her mother
But today
This day
We share something that maybe small to others but to us is so much bigger
On this day, the seventh day of the ninth month we share the words
Happy Birthday my lovely daughter
Happy Birthday my beautiful mother, I will always love you
This poem is dedicated to Ms. Casandra Hardee and her mother Ms. Blondie L. Hardee, who although is not with her physcially is always with her spiritually and mentally.
There is no relationship like the one between a mother and daughter. A mother teaches her daughter to be great woman. To show no fear when faced with the problems of the world. To know how to give her weight to the Lord and let him handle it. She also gives her that little bit of attitude when needed but not too much. "Respect yourself first" is what they say to you.
A daughter takes the teachings she's learned and instills them in her children creating a never ending cycle of her legacy. Each one taking a piece of who she was, no, of who she is, and building from that foundation. A relationship this precious should never be taken lightly. Never be taken for granted.
I wish Ms. Sandy and even though I never had the pleasure, her mother, a Happy Birthday.
Nikki Frierson
Sunday, September 5, 2010
I FOUND IT...
Dear,
I thought that what we had was special. I was sure that we were going to go further with this. That you and I would be making plans together. That after we made it through this we would finally see the finish line. I don't blame you and I don't blame myself, but I do wish that it would not have ended the way that it did. I didn't mean to make you mad and storm from the house. I was so stubborn that I didn't follow you out the door and make you finish having your say but I thought you were coming back. I knew in my heart that you were going to turn around, come back and say that you were wrong and I was right, but you didn't. You didn't come back. Sweetheart you left me that day I know you had every intent to return and after we had calmed down we would hold each other and apologize for every word we said to hurt one another.
But you didn't return. I waited for you the entire night and figured you needed more time than usual. When the phone rang I assumed it was you saying that you were on your way home. That you had called to say that no matter what you loved me. That no matter the subject you would always return home. But it wasn't you. It was a stranger. A woman on the other line. Her voice was calm when she spoke her piece. As i fell to my knees I felt my heart break. The air abandoned my body and I was left gasping. Ciutching the phone I listened to every word.
I listened as she explained what she had done and how no matter how much she tried you left her too. Once she was finished I left the phone on the floor and curled into a ball. I held myself like I knew you would. I tried to think of the things that you would have said to soothe my pain but it wasnt the same. It would never be the same. Will never be the same.
Just think sweetheart, if only we had not argued you would have been here with me. But that day you got into your car you had no idea that there would be another car headed towards you. You never thought that you would ever see me again. We thought that it would be the same as always. You'd leave and come back calm. We'd say we were sorry and hold each other. Not this time. This time you left and didn't come back. Now I'm here in this bed with pillows behind me and our son in my arms crying. They said that the accident was not your fault. That the oncoming car was in the wrong lane and to not hit them you hit a tree instead. My heart aches every time I pass it and we placed a marker there with your name on it.
You will always hold my heart like no other. Your love was, no is like no other. I pray that you and I will see each other again, but for now all I can do is go on raising our son and letting him know that his father was a great man. Full of strength, laughter and love. I know these things because you showed me everyday that we were together.
I want you to know that after you left me that day I had found your ring. It was on the floor beside the nightstand. The same nightstand you said you had paced it on the night before.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
I DREAMED OF YOU
Did I ever tell you that I dreamed of you.
You were gentle
Your voice was low and rough
I held you in my arms
The heat from you warmed me to my core
I heard your heart
The beat was a song that I'd never heard before
I caught your scent
You smelled of funnel cakes and cinnamon
I saw your smile
The sun had nothing on it
You touched my thoughts
You became part of my way of living
I saw the good in you
Something that I'd never seen before
I thought sure I told you I dreamed of you.
No?
Well, now you know.
You now know that no one has ever gotten to me the way you have
That no one can has ever had the pleasure of being inside my head
You know now that you have a hold on me that no one else can say they ever had
And you should also know that that same hold does not come without rules
You are to always share your heart with me
Continue to use that voice I love so much
To warm me with the heat that flows so freely from you to me
You are to let me listen to that strong song that your heart plays every night
Allow me to try and taste that sweet cinnamon that permeates from you
You are to light my way with that smile when darkness threatens to shadow us
To enter my mind whenever or whenever needed
But most of all you are to show me the good that is within
Show me what makes you you
So there
I've told you about my dream
My dream of you
Now if I could only see your face.
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
You were gentle
Your voice was low and rough
I held you in my arms
The heat from you warmed me to my core
I heard your heart
The beat was a song that I'd never heard before
I caught your scent
You smelled of funnel cakes and cinnamon
I saw your smile
The sun had nothing on it
You touched my thoughts
You became part of my way of living
I saw the good in you
Something that I'd never seen before
I thought sure I told you I dreamed of you.
No?
Well, now you know.
You now know that no one has ever gotten to me the way you have
That no one can has ever had the pleasure of being inside my head
You know now that you have a hold on me that no one else can say they ever had
And you should also know that that same hold does not come without rules
You are to always share your heart with me
Continue to use that voice I love so much
To warm me with the heat that flows so freely from you to me
You are to let me listen to that strong song that your heart plays every night
Allow me to try and taste that sweet cinnamon that permeates from you
You are to light my way with that smile when darkness threatens to shadow us
To enter my mind whenever or whenever needed
But most of all you are to show me the good that is within
Show me what makes you you
So there
I've told you about my dream
My dream of you
Now if I could only see your face.
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
WE CAN DO IF THE OTHER IS WILLING.
Okay, I know it's not just me that thinks when your man treats you right and gives you the respect you deserve that there is basically nothing you would not do for him. And if you're reading this throwing your nose up at it then I know for a fact that YOU'RE guilty of doing just that.
You may ask what got me thinking of this right? Well I was listening to Destiny's Child's "Cater to U" and realized that I'd do those things for my man if he was worthy. And it does not take money or cars to gain that kind of worthiness.
Now, the first verse of this song says it all. He works hard so be proud of him. It's not wrong to admire your man if he's doing what he can to keep you guys happy. So in turn do something that will make him smile. And trust me, you dont have to go out and buy something big for a man for him to feel appreciated. The things they list: brushing his hair, a massage, cook him dinner (something he loves to eat). And hell, hand him the remote and let him go crazy. But if you're like me (not), you'd grab the X-Box, PS3, or Wii controller and join in playing the game with him. And after you've beat him then you must give him a BIG hug for being such a good sport after his loss. (LOL)What? There are us females that love to play video games just as much as the guys. You are his best friend, sometimes you have to do things that best friends do and not just couples. Be his friend. Allow him to be yours. But those are just some of the things that not only make him smile but show him that he has someone at home that appreciates him. Someone that will stick beside him when shit gets tough. That they wont just run out at the first sign of turmoil. Because sometimes your man maybe going through something that he feels like he cant talk about. You have to let him know that you're not only there for when he laughs but also when his light is not at it's brightest. Men don't understand that there are some women that want to help them through bad times as well as being there for the good. Those women are called "Ride or Die Chicks." They are a rare breed but they do exist. They will stand by, if not try to take the front, when their man (or partner) needs them.
Now I know what the ladies are thinking "Well what about them supporting us?" I know that they should support us also. And there are those "R.O.D. Men" also. There are those that will knock a person out with a left hook and wake them up with the right for his woman. So don't think this topic is about bashing the female specimen it's not. It's about equality. I think that we as women have become so offended by the bull that men have done to us in the past that we don't think that the current man (after the asshole) deserves to be pampered the same as we should. I used to think that way. I used to think if I'm going to give him a massage then hell, he should be getting his hands ready to give me one right after. Tit for tat. But it's not always about what you get out of every situation. We women are strong, determined and unflinching when it comes to protecting ourselves and our children. We think that since the man is the "man" then he should not be offended or anything we say and do should not affect them. That's where we are wrong. Men have a very different way of acting out their hurt.
When men are hurt by their woman they retaliate by going out and finding another woman during their sulking. After you've scarred their ego they have to go out and find someone to soothe the offense we used. And in some cases, which should not happen but so, they will react by hitting the woman. That settles nothing, but again, it's what happens. Women are now found beating on their men. Rare but it is happening and neither are right. My point is you don't know how it really hurts them when you say something to hurt them. Its the same pain and feeling of uselessness as if they'd have said it to you. And there is that saying "Sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Yeah right! They hurt, as a matter of fact they hurt worse than if your partner had hit you.
I've changed a great deal I think when it comes to how I should treat the next man in my life. I used to always think the worse of each guy because of what the previous guy had done. But I was only hurting the potential that the next man had. I'm at a point in my life where I've become more comfortable with not just writing my words down but now voicing them. It says a lot about who I now am as a person. As a potential partner. As a woman.
This is not a rant it was merely a small entry about a never ending topic. Men and women should treat each other with equal respect. And there should be times when the other should think of something to do that will make the other smile. Just let them see that they are on your mind cause to be honest with you the entire time I was writing this I thought of Allen. =) He is my friend and I appreciate him being around at this point in my life. He's my STINKY. And only he knows what that means.
So, in closing, love him, love her. LOVE EACH OTHER.
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
You may ask what got me thinking of this right? Well I was listening to Destiny's Child's "Cater to U" and realized that I'd do those things for my man if he was worthy. And it does not take money or cars to gain that kind of worthiness.
Baby I See You Working Hard
I Want To Let You Know I'm Proud,
Let You Know That I Admire What You Do
The More If I Need To Reassure You,
My Life Would Be Purposeless Without You (Yeah)
If I Want It (Got It)
When I Ask You (You Provide It)
You Inspire Me To Be Better
You Challenge Me For The Better
Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter
Now, the first verse of this song says it all. He works hard so be proud of him. It's not wrong to admire your man if he's doing what he can to keep you guys happy. So in turn do something that will make him smile. And trust me, you dont have to go out and buy something big for a man for him to feel appreciated. The things they list: brushing his hair, a massage, cook him dinner (something he loves to eat). And hell, hand him the remote and let him go crazy. But if you're like me (not), you'd grab the X-Box, PS3, or Wii controller and join in playing the game with him. And after you've beat him then you must give him a BIG hug for being such a good sport after his loss. (LOL)What? There are us females that love to play video games just as much as the guys. You are his best friend, sometimes you have to do things that best friends do and not just couples. Be his friend. Allow him to be yours. But those are just some of the things that not only make him smile but show him that he has someone at home that appreciates him. Someone that will stick beside him when shit gets tough. That they wont just run out at the first sign of turmoil. Because sometimes your man maybe going through something that he feels like he cant talk about. You have to let him know that you're not only there for when he laughs but also when his light is not at it's brightest. Men don't understand that there are some women that want to help them through bad times as well as being there for the good. Those women are called "Ride or Die Chicks." They are a rare breed but they do exist. They will stand by, if not try to take the front, when their man (or partner) needs them.
Now I know what the ladies are thinking "Well what about them supporting us?" I know that they should support us also. And there are those "R.O.D. Men" also. There are those that will knock a person out with a left hook and wake them up with the right for his woman. So don't think this topic is about bashing the female specimen it's not. It's about equality. I think that we as women have become so offended by the bull that men have done to us in the past that we don't think that the current man (after the asshole) deserves to be pampered the same as we should. I used to think that way. I used to think if I'm going to give him a massage then hell, he should be getting his hands ready to give me one right after. Tit for tat. But it's not always about what you get out of every situation. We women are strong, determined and unflinching when it comes to protecting ourselves and our children. We think that since the man is the "man" then he should not be offended or anything we say and do should not affect them. That's where we are wrong. Men have a very different way of acting out their hurt.
When men are hurt by their woman they retaliate by going out and finding another woman during their sulking. After you've scarred their ego they have to go out and find someone to soothe the offense we used. And in some cases, which should not happen but so, they will react by hitting the woman. That settles nothing, but again, it's what happens. Women are now found beating on their men. Rare but it is happening and neither are right. My point is you don't know how it really hurts them when you say something to hurt them. Its the same pain and feeling of uselessness as if they'd have said it to you. And there is that saying "Sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Yeah right! They hurt, as a matter of fact they hurt worse than if your partner had hit you.
I've changed a great deal I think when it comes to how I should treat the next man in my life. I used to always think the worse of each guy because of what the previous guy had done. But I was only hurting the potential that the next man had. I'm at a point in my life where I've become more comfortable with not just writing my words down but now voicing them. It says a lot about who I now am as a person. As a potential partner. As a woman.
This is not a rant it was merely a small entry about a never ending topic. Men and women should treat each other with equal respect. And there should be times when the other should think of something to do that will make the other smile. Just let them see that they are on your mind cause to be honest with you the entire time I was writing this I thought of Allen. =) He is my friend and I appreciate him being around at this point in my life. He's my STINKY. And only he knows what that means.
So, in closing, love him, love her. LOVE EACH OTHER.
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
MAKING IT WORK
Be sure to tell them how you feel at all times.
Never claim to know everything because nine times out of ten you don't know they are about to leave you
Always prepare yourself for the best and not the worse
Maintain a positive attitude and things will go smoother than you anticipated
Make time for yourself as well as them. It just keeps you balanced within that balance of you and them
Be honest no matter what
Don't put yourself in that situation which will hurt them because it happens more than ever
And always ALWAYS make sure that your heart is beating.
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
SAME PLACE
You left me here but I have not moved
I remained where you last saw me
Where you thought you had to disrespect me in order to feel good about yourself
I laugh now at it but at that time I was pissed
You did your shit and thought it was cool
Where is the cool in fucking every female you saw and ending up hurting us both
How fucking cool was it when I coudn't have a relationship with another because of bullshit you pulled
Now I was so wound up that if a guy tried to get close I'd either push him away or take a step back.
But I thank you
I thank you for doing what you did because I learned a great deal
I learned to trust myself more and never allow anyone to manipulate me ever again
But you left me here and though I have not moved I have grown in ways you couldn't have imagined
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
I remained where you last saw me
Where you thought you had to disrespect me in order to feel good about yourself
I laugh now at it but at that time I was pissed
You did your shit and thought it was cool
Where is the cool in fucking every female you saw and ending up hurting us both
How fucking cool was it when I coudn't have a relationship with another because of bullshit you pulled
Now I was so wound up that if a guy tried to get close I'd either push him away or take a step back.
But I thank you
I thank you for doing what you did because I learned a great deal
I learned to trust myself more and never allow anyone to manipulate me ever again
But you left me here and though I have not moved I have grown in ways you couldn't have imagined
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Perhaps I'm Dreaming.
I always thought of adult life as the "thing". You know, growing up, driving, clubbing, dating. sex. all those things that now you look back on and say uhhhh maybe I should have waited. Sometimes I laugh and say "man can I go back to college?" or "How about turning back to high school." You look back on your life and wonder if you made the right choices or are you still screwing up your live even more. I used to do that till I realized that my life is not my own. No matter what I have planned in my head if that is not part of God's plan for me then it will not happen.
I grew up despising marriage. I never wanted it. Too much drama. Arguing all the time about small things that were of no consequence in the long run. I didn't want kids because I did not want to subject them to bullshit and the pain and anger that I grew up having. Never know me to have that mentality now would you? Because I learned that I can laugh and smile and do whatever the hell I wanted. I have two precious girls that I would die for. I have a great mom that I would take out anyone who'd harm her (yes, family included). I have a baby sister that is growing up to be a great young woman (minus some of her crazy choices. LOL) And way back when I had a friend that I thought was going to be my husband but that didn't work out as planned. It seems that when you are always with someone when you are finally apart for more than a few months you start to re-think your future. But I see now that he would not have made me as happy as I am with the guy that I talk to now. No, he and I are not serious right now, but that does not change that he makes me smile in a day. It does not change the fact that he respects me for who I am and what I want to do.
It goes to show you that no matter what you plan for yourself when you're young and dumb 'thinking' you're smart, that may not be the path that you're supposed to take. You are probably going to go into an entirely different direction. So my advice today is look forward. Don't let things stress you to where they cloud the light from your life. Allow those around you that are willing to make you smile do just that. See that they are there for you when you need them. And make no mistake that your life is not on the path you chose but the one that God chose before you were ever created.
Much love to those out in the world today. I hope that you gain more knowledge than you had the day before. And make sure to tell those close to you how much they mean to you. Life is short. Dont hold off till tomorrow, but it is definitely not promised to you.
Nikki
I grew up despising marriage. I never wanted it. Too much drama. Arguing all the time about small things that were of no consequence in the long run. I didn't want kids because I did not want to subject them to bullshit and the pain and anger that I grew up having. Never know me to have that mentality now would you? Because I learned that I can laugh and smile and do whatever the hell I wanted. I have two precious girls that I would die for. I have a great mom that I would take out anyone who'd harm her (yes, family included). I have a baby sister that is growing up to be a great young woman (minus some of her crazy choices. LOL) And way back when I had a friend that I thought was going to be my husband but that didn't work out as planned. It seems that when you are always with someone when you are finally apart for more than a few months you start to re-think your future. But I see now that he would not have made me as happy as I am with the guy that I talk to now. No, he and I are not serious right now, but that does not change that he makes me smile in a day. It does not change the fact that he respects me for who I am and what I want to do.
It goes to show you that no matter what you plan for yourself when you're young and dumb 'thinking' you're smart, that may not be the path that you're supposed to take. You are probably going to go into an entirely different direction. So my advice today is look forward. Don't let things stress you to where they cloud the light from your life. Allow those around you that are willing to make you smile do just that. See that they are there for you when you need them. And make no mistake that your life is not on the path you chose but the one that God chose before you were ever created.
Much love to those out in the world today. I hope that you gain more knowledge than you had the day before. And make sure to tell those close to you how much they mean to you. Life is short. Dont hold off till tomorrow, but it is definitely not promised to you.
Nikki
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