You may ask what got me thinking of this right? Well I was listening to Destiny's Child's "Cater to U" and realized that I'd do those things for my man if he was worthy. And it does not take money or cars to gain that kind of worthiness.
Baby I See You Working Hard
I Want To Let You Know I'm Proud,
Let You Know That I Admire What You Do
The More If I Need To Reassure You,
My Life Would Be Purposeless Without You (Yeah)
If I Want It (Got It)
When I Ask You (You Provide It)
You Inspire Me To Be Better
You Challenge Me For The Better
Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter
Now, the first verse of this song says it all. He works hard so be proud of him. It's not wrong to admire your man if he's doing what he can to keep you guys happy. So in turn do something that will make him smile. And trust me, you dont have to go out and buy something big for a man for him to feel appreciated. The things they list: brushing his hair, a massage, cook him dinner (something he loves to eat). And hell, hand him the remote and let him go crazy. But if you're like me (not), you'd grab the X-Box, PS3, or Wii controller and join in playing the game with him. And after you've beat him then you must give him a BIG hug for being such a good sport after his loss. (LOL)What? There are us females that love to play video games just as much as the guys. You are his best friend, sometimes you have to do things that best friends do and not just couples. Be his friend. Allow him to be yours. But those are just some of the things that not only make him smile but show him that he has someone at home that appreciates him. Someone that will stick beside him when shit gets tough. That they wont just run out at the first sign of turmoil. Because sometimes your man maybe going through something that he feels like he cant talk about. You have to let him know that you're not only there for when he laughs but also when his light is not at it's brightest. Men don't understand that there are some women that want to help them through bad times as well as being there for the good. Those women are called "Ride or Die Chicks." They are a rare breed but they do exist. They will stand by, if not try to take the front, when their man (or partner) needs them.
Now I know what the ladies are thinking "Well what about them supporting us?" I know that they should support us also. And there are those "R.O.D. Men" also. There are those that will knock a person out with a left hook and wake them up with the right for his woman. So don't think this topic is about bashing the female specimen it's not. It's about equality. I think that we as women have become so offended by the bull that men have done to us in the past that we don't think that the current man (after the asshole) deserves to be pampered the same as we should. I used to think that way. I used to think if I'm going to give him a massage then hell, he should be getting his hands ready to give me one right after. Tit for tat. But it's not always about what you get out of every situation. We women are strong, determined and unflinching when it comes to protecting ourselves and our children. We think that since the man is the "man" then he should not be offended or anything we say and do should not affect them. That's where we are wrong. Men have a very different way of acting out their hurt.
When men are hurt by their woman they retaliate by going out and finding another woman during their sulking. After you've scarred their ego they have to go out and find someone to soothe the offense we used. And in some cases, which should not happen but so, they will react by hitting the woman. That settles nothing, but again, it's what happens. Women are now found beating on their men. Rare but it is happening and neither are right. My point is you don't know how it really hurts them when you say something to hurt them. Its the same pain and feeling of uselessness as if they'd have said it to you. And there is that saying "Sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Yeah right! They hurt, as a matter of fact they hurt worse than if your partner had hit you.
I've changed a great deal I think when it comes to how I should treat the next man in my life. I used to always think the worse of each guy because of what the previous guy had done. But I was only hurting the potential that the next man had. I'm at a point in my life where I've become more comfortable with not just writing my words down but now voicing them. It says a lot about who I now am as a person. As a potential partner. As a woman.
This is not a rant it was merely a small entry about a never ending topic. Men and women should treat each other with equal respect. And there should be times when the other should think of something to do that will make the other smile. Just let them see that they are on your mind cause to be honest with you the entire time I was writing this I thought of Allen. =) He is my friend and I appreciate him being around at this point in my life. He's my STINKY. And only he knows what that means.
So, in closing, love him, love her. LOVE EACH OTHER.
©Nikki Frierson, 2010
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